The Transitiion

I can't remember exactly when it all started. It was at least 18 months before it actually happened in December 2013.
The General Manager came down and gave us his "I had a dream" speech. Except it was "I had an epiphany". He needed to find a way to do more work, or spend more money in his terms, without doing things the same way. Over time this evolved into a model of transferring almost all of the scope, and almost all of the people, to a single vendor.
It's hard to say whether this was his plan from the start and the process he followed was a way to communicate it and sort out the details or whether the process was to make a decision on how to achieve the main objective. Looking back, I think what he did was his plan from the start. He wanted it to be bold and different and dramatic. Not only "transform the business" but also "transform the industry". The other operators will follow his lead !

In the early stages I was invited to a whole day "think tank" meeting with all the great minds of the business unit to workshop how to achieve more without increasing our headcount; which seemed to be the main constraint. The criteria of not employing more people, or making anyone redundant was mentioned a few times. We were given some information in advance so I had some time to think about it. My plan was a number of actions that each would result in more output per person, not only an increased productivity for the people in the company, but also an overall increase in productivity. It would have not only meant more would get done with the same people internally, it would also be cheaper per unit. That had to be good... I thought. But it was basically a modified version of the same thing, it wasn't bold or dramatic.
Improve standards and reduce variables to improve overall efficiency. Doing more of the same creates production line type efficiency. It's not a new idea, just the application of something some fella called Henry did a long time ago.
Contract "deeper and broader" to reduce the touch-points and increase accountability. Instead of assigning one job, assign a batch.
Establish a panel of contractors and allocate work on a continual time, cost and quality comparison.
I had a lot of examples where I'd done this on other smaller projects and I expected the people who had seen this to be supportive.

During the various sessions on the day it became clear that more and more people had the view to outsource everything to one vendor and increase the scope to include a lot of tasks that we currently did. Almost certainly a few people really thought it was a good idea, and the rest went along with the majority. And the General Manager is the majority for some people... He had a history of surrounding himself with people who agreed with him and only told him what he wanted to hear.
They'd have a water tight contract to "hit them over the head with". This was the answer to all concerns about time, cost and quality. Hit 'em with the contract. KPI's, LD's and service credits etc.
A single vendor would be able to reduce prices and be more efficient because of the volume. There should be some truth in this but in my experience having no competition breeds complacency and ultimately ends up in what I call the "big fat pig syndrome" where the solution to every problem is to employ more people and add a few more steps to "the process". The increase in work would have been enough for three vendors to achieve an economy of scale anyway.
The work force, employees, people, would not be able to play one sub-contractor off against the other and increase their hourly rate. If they wanted to work on our projects they would have to take what the single vendor was offering. There is also some truth in this. It's often not the hourly rate that makes the difference, it's the number of hours, return visits, project management and administration costs - driven by lack of standards etc. Of course this theory only works if there is nowhere else for people to go to get more money or better conditions etc. Since the other operators were going to jump on board, there would be nowhere else to go and they'd have to work for whatever was on offer.
It was "all or nothing" so all the tenderers would have to put their best price in or they risked getting nothing. For a long time vendors could all put in average prices and still get work. While this was true, it was due to mismanagement more than the model being used.
The single vendor model worried me because of my experience with it on a previous project. A very large project was outsourced to much the same level as was proposed for the whole division. The project was completed, so it wasn't a failure, but it was hardly a success and should have been the source of some valuable lessons. Most of the people involved had moved on. The ones who where around were either oblivious to it at the time, or chose to forget it convincing themselves they would fix it this time with their watertight contract. Instead they pushed the wheelbarrow that was increasingly becoming a clear favourite. Safety in numbers. Safety agreeing with a boss who has a history of favouring people who agree with him and pushing others aside.
Outsourcing some of the tasks that we did internally worried me the most. Not only because at the time I couldn't work out what the people who did those tasks now would be doing, but also because we had no defined processes in these areas. The processes we did have were established over a series of instructions in emails and phone conferences and then clarified and adapted as necessary to get the job done. As it turned out later, they had an answer to my concerns. I suspect the answer was known but it wasn't time to let that one out.

I didn't get invited back to the next think tank meetings and increasingly was kept in the dark about what was going on. Maybe I was silly not to play the game and go along with the others. I've found that I do my best work when I believe in something, so it probably wouldn't have worked anyway. I don't regret sticking to my proposal up until the decision was made. Of course when the boss decides, that's the end of it and we all go along with it and never mention the alternatives again.
As some stage the discussion about a "transfer of business" came up where people would be moved to the successful tenderer. I was told at least twice that I was too valuable and was not going to be transferred. It was comforting to hear it but at the same time concerning because it would be impacting a lot of my friends and colleagues not to mention the significant change that my role would have when they were gone.
The phase of "it's coming, it's coming, soon, we're almost there" went on for ages. It was around a year until I was told I was going to be transferred and that there was no opportunity to stay in the company. My position was being transferred with the contract and if I didn't go I would be effectively resigning.
There were a lot of meetings and discussions about peoples benefits and conditions etc. Nobody was going to be worse off and they had made sure the company was a "good fit" with the right culture. Every concern about how it would work was brushed off with a repetitive chant that it has all been worked out by the contract team and it will just be a case of doing the same thing as we had been doing but working for a different company. It was clear they had all had a session on how to deal with inconvenient questions using the repetition technique.

"transition" day.
Otherwise known as sacking day.
The behaviour of some managers during this time continued to amaze me even though by this stage my expectations were already very low.
From the office I was in, around 10 permanent staff and 8 contractors were effectively being resigned involuntarily. We were all welcomed to the day with an email that pretty much said "pack your things and get out before 1pm". Then there were demanding "I need" emails from my manager while we were trying to pack up. Amazing that he thought I'd care what he needed at that time. I had actually sorted out all the things he was asking, and copied him on the emails to the people I had told how to close certain things off and keep other things running when I was gone.
I'm not assuming that only the 18 people above were affected, the rest of the office would have been affected as well to varying degrees.
Yet the emotionally inept did the same things that had been frustrating everyone for the past 6 or more months. Even though I wasn't overly surprised, I didn't think it would happen like that. I thought there would at least be an insincere attempt to part ways on good terms. Thanks for your help and good luck. Aside from basic respect, the people leaving were the people the manager would depend on in future to get work done. Even now when I think about it I shake my head trying to work out what he was trying to achieve by doing that.
I left early; about 11am I think. I was going to have a lunch at the pub with some of the others but I couldn't wait to get out of there and away from the place. I was going to go and wait in the car park at the pub but when I got driving all I wanted to do was go home. So I did. Even in the car he was calling me and leaving his "I need" messages.
First thing in the morning I'd put a card and chocolates on some peoples desk for them. They were staying behind. In different ways they'd been very helpful to me over the years. I was sad to be leaving them.
Then I printed the employment summaries out for my team, went around to hand them out and show people the proposed org chart at the new company and talk them through it. Trying to be positive about the future. By this stage I'd decided to give it a go and see what happened. It might have been good.
One the way home I got some flowers for my wife. Purple iris. She liked them.
I'd been home for a while and felt like I was on the verge of breaking down. It's hard to explain why or what I felt. Betrayed, let down, thrown away.. I put a lot into that place over the years. I know they paid me for it and I'm silly for thinking it, but it felt like more than that. It's not rational I know, it's a company and not a person so there can't be a relationship with emotion and commitment and all that. But a company is made up of people, it's not an algorithm on a computer somewhere following a set of rules. In that sense maybe you can have a relationship with a company. For someone who has been working there for a long time change is scary, forced change is worse, and forced change with such a negative disrespectful end is the worst.
The work Christmas party was that night. I went even though I wasn't really in the mood. If I didn't improve I was going to sneak out and come home but it was OK in the end. Nothing notable, but a good time spilling drinks on dresses and talking crap.

My first day at my new company. More examples of ineffective behaviour and poor planning. No mail or data files had come over as they were supposed to. There was no access to the systems we needed to "do what we had been doing". The person who was supposed to be there first thing to sort it all out wasn't. It was a sign of things to come and a good demonstration of the lip service that had been given by the chosen ones to plan the transfer so it was such a seamless success. "Yes absolutely everything has been sorted out" was one of the mantras.
One of my previous managers turned up with his boss, the director of the division, and some other manager. They were there to talk to other people but came to visit just to say they had been there and tick the box on their transition check sheet.
I set up my new laptop and screen etc. Started my on-line inductions. Part of me wanted to have a good go at it and the other part didn't care. I knew I should give it a go but felt like I'd just get screwed over again. I spent a lot of time trying to work out how to do it smarter like others seem to. Smooth talkers who seem too avoid being accountable for anything. When I'm not confident I can't talk confidently like others can. It's something I've known for a long time and improved a lot but I still fall well short of others.

In general work was pretty hectic. I had so much to do while everyone was wanting everything now. My former work "mates" back at the old company were being very difficult. The whole model was flawed expecting the company who you screwed down on price, and got offside with all the people who you "transitioned", and then expected it to operate just like another business division. Except another business division would be managed by performance reviews, effective relationships, teamwork, and a common goal. Not a water tight contract that was leaking like a seive from day one. I was looking forward to when I could start bringing in some money for the company and was hoping that would be my "meaning". At that stage I was doing the carry in work which was for free as part of a well exploited clause in the contract.

About 5 months in I was a bit stuck between wanting a job in the National team or to stay in the state delivery team. I didn't want to deal with "the client", my old company, at that level. They never thrilled me with confidence before I was "the customer" or "the contractor", or "grubby subbie". On the other side of the argument, the manager of the National team was very good. I had, and still have, a lot of respect for them. A lot of people don't like her, and I can see why, but I've seen past all the huff and puff and can see the good work she's done. I stayed in the state delivery team which is something I regret. I should have tried because the worst case would have been the same, I would have left. The difference being that I had a go; and I might have learned something.

I was transitioned to my new employer under the claim of a "transfer of business". There were opportunities to work at a higher level, get promoted, whatever you want to call it. I didn't go well when I got there because I was bogged down in the details, as usual, trying to finish off the work that came across with the transition and prepare for the new work. It didn't help when my old company started issuing more work to their old vendors. It made my job to finish it off more complicated. Sort of like trying to put out a fire while someone is spraying petrol on it. If I had known they were going to keep issuing work to their old vendors I would have done things differently when I started. Instead I was busy finishing it off and preparing for any new work to be awarded to my new employer, as you'd think would be the case under a "transfer of business" arrangement.
After a while several people had been employed in National roles and were coming to me for information. At some stages almost nagging me with a continual stream of emails, phone calls and meeting requests. One memorable event was when one of them drew a diagram in powerppoint of a diagram that I drew by hand for him. He sent it to me to check and it was significantly different. These people don't know the importance of the content. It's just to say they've done it and it's with me to check. Gets the monkey off their back. Then it's either "with me", I do their job for them, or I'm not helping. They can't lose. They're masters at staying off the hook. In general I didn't mind to so much until they'd come back with my info a week or so later and use it to tell me what I need to do.. Oh, no shit genius, who told you that? I started pulling back on the amount of time I spent "helping" these people and focussed on my job. I was the sucker still there at 8:30pm trying to do my day job after they have taken up most of my day with their "help cover up my incompetence" phone conferences. They were all at the gym working on their 6 pack, or manicuring their hipster beards.
People from my previous employer were giving me instructions to task our National people and help them do it.. Right, so they knew that our National people didn't know what they were doing so they wanted me to manage them, and help them. You might need to read that a few times to understand. It's difficult for me to explain but it's another good example of how these people think.

6 months in.
Work continued to be busy and very frustrating. I was still struggling with having to be the "subbie" to my previous colleagues who I thought were incompetent in many ways when I was in my previous job. Aside from about 3 people, all of the people I had any time for came over with me. It was made worse that I was moved to being a "subbie" by them instead of it being my choice.
One positive is that now I started to understand a lot more why vendors behaved the way they did when I was there. It's because my old company had no idea what they wanted, or how to communicate what they thought they wanted, or even an objective that the vendors could use to work out what to do. People like me had to interpret the vague and conflicting instructions and engage the subbies to get the job done. We were the ones who had the KPI's to actually achieve something physical so we had to fill in the gaps or risk being "managed out of the job"; which is their way of saying sacked. The higher up people just had to produce graphs and guidelines that impressed people who didn't really know what it all meant. As long as that line on their gant chart was green, they'd done their job.
One night I left quite late on my bike and my rear light batteries were flat. One of my managers found some in a label making machine for me. It was nice of him to show that concern and do that. I think he was OK. I thought a previous boss was OK for a while too and he turned out to be a prick. Actually I can't work out if he was being nice to get me to work for him, or if he was being a prick because he had to. On my way home I got more and more tired to the point where I was all nervy and quite weak. I know it was because I was tired and hadn't eaten anything since lunch time. It was about 8pm I think. I could have just lay down on the side of the track and gone to sleep. I felt the impact of that for a few days with a headache feeling a bit "nervy".

7 months in.
It was very busy trying to get the the first real project moving with some decent guidelines for the team to work with. The relationship with me and the people still at the old company was not at all effective. Everything had to go via the National teams and was very vague. The people who I used to talk to so sort things out would just point me to out National team. I'm sure they were trying to give us vague instructions and leave it up to our expertise to do what is required like it used to work. The trouble was that the National teams in both companies were not engaging with anyone in the state delivery teams. It was all very contractual and what the contract said, was done. Which makes sense in some ways. Each state was doing their own things based on their interpretation of the contract and guidelines. Both National teams were obsessed with baselines and charts while the delivery teams were fumbling around trying to get some momentum. The job for me was more and more becoming a means for an income and nothing more. And I started to feel more and more like it will come to an end one way or another. The only thing was how and when.

9 months in.
I'd been working longer hours again - trying to "catch up". But of course it just keeps coming. My old company claimed the pricing for one of the projects was too high and was going to go to someone else to do it. A bit awkward when people who used to do that project had been transferred and in less than a year they threaten to give the business to someone else. What about the people? Oh, that's an inconvenient question, better roll out the repetition technique. All while there was talk of how strong the relationship was and how good the whole model is working out for everyone. It's amazing how the corporate nonsense is believed by some, and ignored by the others, and life goes on.
They were still paying me. I felt sick a lot. My head hurt and I was getting headaches and a stiff neck. One Friday I had a kaleidoscope type pattern in the left vision of my left eye. Later on that day I was very light headed. I still felt crook on Saturday morning but picked up during the day.
I had a lack of a sense of achievement. Even worse I was  part of a project that was so badly flawed at fundamental levels. Fragmented and very inefficient effort that in some cases wouldn't come together for a very long time; possibly a year or more. Not all of it was avoidable. There were too many unknown risks that had to be found out, or quantified during the process. Still, there was a complete lack of strategy and little effort to pick out work that would not result in any benefit and divert resources elsewhere. They were hooked on numbers and not the objective which was a direct result of the failure of the way they were engaged. They were engaged to deliver numbers, not results.
I had very low self esteem, afraid if I left I'd "drop out" of the work force. That if I stopped, I wouldn't start again.... leading to god knows what.
I was quite negative towards my new company, and my old one... I don't "blame" my new company as such. They bid for a contract and got it. I was just part of it. I was effectively sold to the lowest bidder. Now the people who sold me are my customer and with a few exceptions they treat me like shit. Sure some put on an act and patronise me in an attempt to make me feel better and so get me to do things for them. It's really so they can go home and think "he's is OK, it's not my fault.." yeh whatever helps you sleep.. I desperately wanted to leave but was afraid of the unknown. I didn't want to let my family down.. but I was letting them down anyway.

A year gone by and I decided to get another job. If it's still no good after a year there is something badly wrong and it's not just teething issues.
December was not a good time to start looking so I  put it off until the new year. It was refreshing to have made up my mind.

13 months in
As the micromanagement and micro-reporting of "the numbers" set in it finally became obvious to the senior management team that we weren’t going to deliver even half of what they wanted by the end of March. My estimate based on previous performance was that we'd get them about 30 or 40%. Once they realised they it would be interesting to see what they did. They could jump up and down and demand that people simply "do more work", or focus on the right "numbers" to help improve the overall results. It was really far too late to make much of a difference though. It turned out they did a bit of both but more of the demanding than the prioritising.
Everyday I thought about changing jobs but I never did anything about it until I called someone at one of the companies that I have often considered working for. I think I can help them build a business rather than just do more of the same where I am now while a business buries itself in it's own crap until it dies; which it would. It was just a matter of time unless there was some serious "re-alignment". Maybe the new owners would tidy things up.. or stick their nose in and make it worse. Having made the decision in December, this was the day that started the actual change process.
Two panic meetings and late nights in a week. They were doing the same thing over again and getting the same result. Not going to make it, re-plan with an optimistic view on everything, and then fail to deliver. Repeat.. Each cycle ratcheting down everyone’s morale another notch. The failures were caused by the same few reasons that were never addressed or managed. It was too hard to fix anything, and far too easy to keep yelling, swearing, and demanding that it just has to happen.
I had my least productive week for a long time. My role was changed and I lost two of my four projects and the two remaining spanned more states. Ironically, one of my projects depended on one that I lost; which just made it harder.
I had a few discussions about new jobs with a couple of people. One was sort of open ended and the other dependant on them getting a contract.

14 months in
I started bringing my personal items home from work. The start of clearing things out to get ready in case I make a move. I didn’t have much there really. It was more a mental step to leaving because I was due to meet with one of the companies to talk about possibilities working for them. As well as a change away from what I was doing and some of the people I was struggling with, I was looking forward to trying to make a difference to something again. During most of my time at my last job I felt like I was making a difference. I didn't feel that in my current job at the time.

My chances of getting a new job is more likely now. They called to tell me about some projects that they have and expect to get. He was going to talk with the CEO and call me back.
I was a bit anxious about it. It's easy to keep doing the same thing even though it sucks. I hadn't changed jobs or companies for a long time. Too long really. The "transition" was not really a new job in many ways. I didn't really have a choice and it was with a lot of the same people and doing similar things. It wasn't at all like it was promoted as doing "the same as you used to", not disadvantaged, and in a company with the right culture; that was a load of crap and I could write a paragraph on it. It was a very poor example of managing peoples expectations but a good example of a sales pitch.

My potential new employer called to say that the CEO was keen to get me started there and will get an offer to me tomorrow.
I was even more nervous about the job and leaving the one I had. As much as I didn't like it, I knew a fair bit about it and it was "easy" to stay. But in my heart I had been eager to try something different for a while. My heart was not in it any more. I didn't care about my old company, their network, or their business. I cared about my new company but they were not forward thinking and I didn't think had a "culture" to succeed past the current contract and work. They mainly had the work they had out of necessity because of the people and skills they had inherited with the transfer. Over time they will lose this "advantage" and their high overheads will kill them. Unless the new owners change them, it's just a matter of time.
My wife has been good. She knew I wasn't happy. I just hoped my new job would re-start my life a bit. I knew I was depressed and it would take more than a job to get me over it. My aim was to extend the change to my whole life.. and see how I go. There were a few other people who were really good to me as well. I will always remember them for it.

14 months in
I accepted an offer from one of the companies that I had been talking to and resigned from my job.
After that I had a few senior managers ask me what my 'dream job' was and that they would see if they could make it happen.
I was quite overwhelmed and surprised. I didn't think I was anything that special. It put me in an awkward position but my gut feeling was to honour my commitment to go with the offer that I had accepted.

I told them all that I was going to leave as planned and that I was disappointed that it turned out this way. If I had some of the conversations that I had that week 6 weeks earlier, the outcome would probably have been different. They all seemed to "get it" when I said that I'm not silly enough to think that I'd get a significant pay increase without having to do more work and I'm not after that. I wanted a more diverse job that pays a similar amount so I can maintain a similar lifestyle without having to make any big changes. One of them was due to have his first child in a few months so I think he knew what I meant.

The week at work was busy and I was getting periods of being tight in the chest and a racing heartbeat. Hot and cold sweats, numb fingers, sinus like feeling in my head, dizzy light headed, and out of breath at times. The actual work was nothing very hard for me being a week away from leaving. I just kept track of progress and pushed along the work to help achieve the "end result" as much as I could by keeping people informed.

The creator of the whole nightmare for me came on Tuesday to see our daily review. He came from Sydney to Melbourne just to see it. It was awkward to say the least. He praised me a lot saying there are only a few people who he answers his phone for and I'm one of them and he reads my emails first thing in the morning. I felt like saying something like "and you still screwed me over".. But thought it best not to. I was sitting at my desk when he walked past to leave. He didn't say anything other than a general goodbye to everyone who was still there. I thought about walking to the front with him while he waited for a Taxi or whatever he was doing. I didn't, and I don't regret it. I have nothing left to say and don't expect to hear or achieve anything from talking to him any more than I 'have' to in order to maintain a working relationship. The interesting point of the visit was that it was him and none of the state based managers who came. They were nowhere to be seen.

As much as I told myself I didn't care about how things panned out at work, I know I still did. I felt sick most of the time and was just the intensity that varied depending on what I was doing.
One night after the daily review I did a few things at my desk before packing up and leaving. I left my desk about 5 or shortly after and was weak on my legs and light headed going down the stairs. Walking out the driveway my legs were feeling weaker until I got to the footpath along the road and I felt like I was going to fall over. I had a sore chest, was sweating and was out of breath. I thought about sitting down on the footpath but didn't want to. I slowed down and walked carefully so I was less likely to fall over and made it to my car. I sat in my car feeling like I was going to pass out or fall asleep so I texted my wife and a friend before I decided to drive to the local hospital emergency department. The first place I went to, that I thought was the hospital didn't have ED so I googled the right one that I found out was further down the road. I drove there, parked and checked in. By then I felt a bit better and if I had felt like that when I got to my car probably would have just driven home. They got me in fairly quickly, did an ECG, chest x-ray, blood tests, then took me for a walk to see I was OK before letting me go. I felt a lot better by then. My first ECG showed a small abnormal trace but not life threatening so they referred me to a cardiologist. I drove home and went to bed I think just after midnight.

14 months end
My last day. They had a bbq for the Easter break and a short going away speech for me.  I got a phone call from from one of the senior managers and a few people sent text messages which was nice.
In a strange way it was a form of closure for me not having anything positive when I left my last job.