For many reasons my current work situation is far from ideal.
It's a good old conundrum that I may try to explain another day.
Often on my way home I'll think to myself "this is it, it's over. I'll go in tomorrow and resign". I feel a sense of relief just thinking it.
But I don't. I go back and do it again, and again.
Why do I go to work every day?
Of course the easy answer is for the money, but that's just part of it.
I've done the "right" thing and put some hay away while the sun has been shining. With my leave entitlements, some investments, and lower costs I should be able to live for about a year without a job. It wouldn't be easy but I'm sure I'd find an income of some sort to make it last.
I could "start again" in another industry, or try my luck at another company. It would probably work out OK, maybe even great.
It's true that I don't like giving in and I'm always looking at getting over the next hill.. and the next hill.. then the light at the end of the tunnel approaches.. and so on. I can easily turn that one around and realise that I have effectively given up on other important aspects of my life.
The real reason is that I'm afraid that if I stop, I won't start again.
Who knows if it's true.
I'm too scared to find out.
