I think I've mentioned before a game that I play with myself at work. Rather than get frustrated by people who do dumb things, I watch what they do, and have a silent chuckle to myself.
A couple of examples from this week:
During a meeting a client asked a colleague of mine a question. My colleague answered in detail. It wasn't a yes / no question, more of an explanation. The response was "no !" with big smile and an explanation of a different point of view on the issue, with a cheesy grin.
Responding to someone with "No" is more often than not going to put them into an argumentative or angry frame of mind. Having a smartarse grin while you say "No" will almost guarantee the latter of the two. It's just plain ineffective and will not help improve anything.
From where I sit I can see Sally’s desk and hear a word or two depending on the background noise. While I was probably having a moment of "reflection", or more likely day dreaming, I noticed Mal talking to Sally at her desk. Mal was learning over her as she sat and leaned backwards as if she was being attacked by a lion. He had a very assertive face, even angry and threatening. I couldn't hear what he was saying but the body language said it all. Even I felt intimidated from where I was. That's the way some people operate. All role power "you'll do as I say" type people. It looked like an interrogation with Sally making a few comments while Mal stood glaring at her. As it looked like coming to an end, in a moment of silence I heard him say "so do me a favour and ..." I thought to myself "dude, you can't use role power with such assertion and stand-over type body language, and then demand a favour". Even demanding a favour is strange rather then asking for one. "You will do me a favour". Maybe he was offering her a deal. You do me a favour, and I'll be a bit nicer to return the favour. That's how favours work, right?
